Coping with depression after divorce….

Of you’re going through or recovering from a divorce, the fact is you’re going to deal with depression at some point. Even if you’re getting out of a rather miserable, abusive marriage (as I did), you’ll still mourn the good times. Your brain has a nasty tendency of, after getting out of a bad relationship, to suddenly only remember the good times. But, however your marriage was, depression after a divorce can be crippling (speaking from personal experience).

I developed some steps, though, of coping with your depression. These have worked really well for me, at least:
1.) Stand up, and take two big steps. A near constant of any severe depression is that your butt develops a powerful magnetic attraction to a certain recliner, couch, bed, etc. As much as you’ll want to stay there, and think it’ll help, it just helps to keep you depressed. So, standing up and taking two big steps (to get out of range of its magnetic pull) is the first key step. This simple step has helped me tremendously.
2.) Get dressed. Staying in your pj’s all day seems to have a psychological effect of making you be more relaxed and lethargic. Getting dressed makes your brain realize your day is starting and you have stuff to do.
3.) Set smaller goals. Before all this, I was a whirling dervish of productivity. I was addicted to it, and tried to get as much done in a day as possible, and then, the next day, try to get even more done than that. But, when depression sets in, there’s a wall there. You know what I’m talking about. No matter how hard you try, you just CAN’T get the same amount done. So, set smaller goals, and reward yourself for those. Start with just one thing. Like, today you’ll take out the trash, or respond to that one email you’ve been putting off, etc. Then try two goals after you get that down, then three, until you find your limit, and stick with that while you go through your depressive stage. Then, reward yourself somehow for doing that.
4.) Stay active. Even if it’s just walking around the house, or staying on your feet, you have to get over that inertial energy hump.
5.) Find something SIMPLE you can do around the house or work to emotionally revive/refresh you. If the only thing that does that is something that takes a huge amount of time, effort, and money, like bungee jumping, mountain biking, or hitting the clubs all night long, find something else. You may not be able to get yourself to do those things anyway on account of the depression.

All in all, those help you get started. There are other things to do like get counseling, Prozac or something similar, etc, but those are beyond the scope of what I’m writing about.


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